Pale, Skinny, Frail: A Powerful Poem

“I feel I should be doing everything. Look at you. You are pale, skinny, and need to lean on that chair.”

Pale

Translucent, unwell, unseen, easily ignored

What are you waiting for?

Join the others who write me off as unworthy.

I don’t blame you, at least you don’t say it lightly

Pale, stale, not spicy

I know you meant just unwell.

That you will protect me from ill will.

From the weight of other tasks

and with all you do, I must say thank you fast.

Pale, pasty, not pretty

Skinny

I now weigh what you said would be good before.

I know my body is not like it was circa 2024

It is not strong, nor a conventional beauty

But disabled, surviving, and stunningly earthly

Skinny, flimsy, not juicy.

Why is everyone ready to show me the obvious?

My body is not prosperous.

No longer fertile like Eve.

Ready to be deceived.

Skinny, meek, not mighty.

Frail

Wispy, flimsy, blown away by a breeze

Is this how you see me?

After all this time, of being grounded yet flirty.

I know I have been less so lately

I guess that is why you see pale, skinny, and frail but not pretty?

You wanted to share the weight of wanting to do everything.

Because you love me, and prioritize my well-being.

You just wanted to let me know you see what this has done to me.

How could I tell you that the words you said were uncannily mean?

No matter how compassionate you meant to seem.

I am not just pale, skinny, or frail.

I am spicy, juicy, mighty, and pretty.

Hello,

I’m Casey-Lee

I have been an RN for over 14 years and have lived with chronic illness since 2019. While I have always fiercely advocated for my patients, I struggled to do the same for myself. I had to radically change how I viewed the medical system, adjust my expectations, and unlearn my tendencies toward people-pleasing.

Recognizing the challenges of self-advocacy inspired me to create this platform. The “radical” aspect is that we acknowledge the many systemic and personal factors that impact our community.

Many people experience multiple intersecting identities that create barriers to care. Such as being a person of color and disabled, a woman and disabled, or queer and disabled. Each requires unique approaches to self-advocacy.

Our resource hub will continually evolve to meet the changing needs of our community. I hope this space nourishes, empowers and provides practical tools for navigating healthcare as an advocate for yourself and others.

RadicalRNAdvocate